I believe that your choice is a responsable choice, and only you both, and not outsiders that have just a few elements and knowledges about your life and family situation, he seems a fellow for sure with prejudices, that are by now old thoughts, you have the right to do what you do onbehalf of the good of your family.
The Courage of behaving againts the classical social norms is a must, and you are Brave. The family must grow together and your decision is just a total benefit to your children, kids should grow with parents not babysitters if it is possible to avoid… You’ve done the wright choice and I share it completely with you!. Congratulations!
Dinorah Galeano

And honestly there is some of that that is self-imposed to a certain degree. Most full-time SAHDs I know, myself included, DO seek some sort of part-time or freelance work, or pour themselves into “projects” that make them feel like they are “doing something” beyond the child care, if/when time allows.

It’s easy to point at that as some sort of evidence that men “want to be working”, but the truth is, stay-at-home moms do that too, they’re just (in general) under less pressure for that “something” to come with a paycheck. Sure, many women will do Avon or Tupperware or something like that to bring in a little bit of extra cash, but more will pour themselves (when they have time) into scrapbooking or crafting or gardening or baking or what-have-you.

I am so appreciative of what my wife has decided to do by staying at home with our daughter. Her job is by no means anywhere in the realm of “easy”. The few times that I had the privilege of watching our daughter so that Christi can get some time-off to herself has been more exhausting than any patient I’ve taken cared of in the ICU; Honestly!

The reality that males get criticized as SAHD and that the job of “stay at home parents” in general is minimized overall is disappointing. SAHD and SAHM deserve a lot of respect. They have risen to one of the greatest callings/responsibilities of instilling value back into the family unit – which has been lost in our current generation.

We love tracking with your family via FB and DD. We all miss you here.

I find people who antagonize for the sake antagonizing to be the worst kinds of bully because at their heart, they are cowards. They wish to say what they want, when they want but don’t want the repercussions from saying it, ‘Whoa there, Slim, I wasn’t attacking anyone, I was just playing devil’s advocate’ or ‘Chill out, bro, you know I just like to get people’s feathers ruffled’.

It’s not unlike when someone tries to tell me that there is someone Batman doesn’t ALREADY have a rock-solid plan to defeat, if necessary. YES HE DOES! HE’S BATMAN! >:-|

I think one of the things a lot of Driscoll’s critics in the SAHD community don’t realize is that Driscoll himself does not care what they think (in fact he loves the attention) and that goes double if they’re not a Christian anyhow. Not that anyone is going to change HIS mind, anyhow, but the people listening to him hear a guy who is their spiritual guide throw out Bible verses that support his position. If the response isn’t to show how poor his understanding (or obtuse his misrepresentation) of the meaning really is, they have little reason to listen to his critics beyond perhaps admitting “Maybe he goes to far sometimes, but…” and then continue to think that your average SAHD is some sort of sissy coward man-boy.

I’m far less concerned about convincing Mark Driscoll that he’s wrong on this than I am about all of the young men and women who are buying what he’s selling.

Men: doctors; women: nurses. Men: chefs; women: home cooks. It helps maintain this chest-thumping caveman idea of man-on-top gender roles: OOK OOK ME MAN! GO HUNT BIG TOOTH! YOU WOMAN! STAY CAVE! PICK GNATS FROM BABY HAIR! MAYBE EAT BON BONS OR WATCH SHOWS!

Thanks for sharing your perspective and your support.

Also, I miss that I was sometimes paid to play with Spider-Man and Star Wars toys. I still get to do that, but so far most of them are plush, and I do it for free instead.

Look, the question of whether or not a stay-at-home parent has a difficult job is resolved. Everything that had to be said about it was said during the episode of the Flintstones where Fred and Wilma switched jobs. As of 2012, the case that it is easy has the same intellectual weight as the case that the earth is flat. Arguing with that case elevates it’s validity simply through the act of engagement. It doesn’t matter, and people who make the case that being at home with kids are easy should be ignored, because they have nothing of value to say.

Having said this, the question of the stay-at-home dad is certainly a legit one, and you should continue to engage the conversation. I think that where Driscoll makes a mistake is in failing to understand that the way to chose what behaviors or roles to pursue in a marriage are based upon understanding the heart and desire of your spouse. If your spouses heart’s desire is to work, and not stay at home, you support that. And if her desire is to stay at home, you do your best to support that as well. Driscoll is fortunate in that his wife very much desires to remain home with their kids, and has always wanted to do so. But then he normalizes his own experience to people who are not his wife. To be fair, though, in his comments Driscoll NEVER makes the case that staying at home with kids is easy. Not at all. He is very, very respectful of the effort that goes into parenting kids at home. He just doesn’t think that it is the role of a husband/father to do it. Take that as you will.

I don’t think that you are a shiftless layabout (thought you did have the “year without pants.” 1996, if I recall correctly). You are obviously very engaged with your kids, you work hard, blah blah blah. More importantly (perhaps), you do it as a part of a collaborative effort toward parenting along with Anna. And if it works, and it nurtures both your kids and your wife, onward and upward.

great rant, btw. well said.

I know hundreds of at-home dads. Nearly all of them quit their jobs to become at-home dads. None of them were lazy moochers that couldn’t wait to get the “cushy” at-home dad gig. And, frankly, what woman who is smart enough to be capable of earning a good income that will support the family is dumb enough to marry a loser.

Also, I find it offensive to say that at-home dads should just do their jobs quietly and not respond to such criticism. We have been far too quiet for too long. Society has beliefs about men that are no where near accurate. It is our duty to expose the truth so that more men can become the fathers they want and need to be (and that doesn’t mean at-home dads; all dads).

At-home dads are no longer going to be quiet when people like Pastor Driscoll and your friend make absurd assumptions about us. Men can and are being great dads; it’s time the public hear the truth.