The other day Babble blogger Cody “They Call Me Cody” Mullins wrote a pretty terrible Mother’s Day fluff-piece entitled “Top 10 Things Mothers do Better than Fathers.”
I say it was terrible, because, frankly, it was. In his estimation, mothers beat dads at: hugging, treating injuries, changing diapers (he must not have heard Huggies can help with that!), making healthy food, keeping the kids clean, snuggling (arguably different than hugging, I guess?), cooking (which is different than making healthy food, apparently), going out with the kids (?), expressing emotion, and making kids feel better (which is way different than how they treat injuries with their magic mommy-powers!).
Obviously I was not a fan. I guess if he’d called it “10 Ways my Wife is a Better Parent Than I Am” I would have less problem with it — at the very least maybe it would serve as a list of ways he recognizes that he can try to step up his parenting game a little. But no, it was all about how Moms are better than Dads at these things. Which might even be true in some areas, but I think most people know that cooking, cleaning, not forgetting the diaper bag, and administering first-aid are not abilities determined by whether your chromosomes are XX or XY. They are abilities you get by having a willingness to learn and the opportunity to try.
Anyhow, the worst thing about the post, as it turns out, wasn’t actually the article itself, but the comments about it on Babble’s Facebook page. They linked to it with the words: “Finish this sentence. The one thing that mothers do better than fathers is ___________. (Then see what this dad said!)”
I can’t even describe to you how disheartening the responses turned out to be…
Yes, there were the usual silly answers (many similar to Cody’s list), some downright hostile ones (according to one commenter, moms are better because, unlike dads and step-dads, moms don’t molest children!) and a lot of LOLs at the very thought of only picking one thing. Hahaha men are so terrible, right?
But no, the really disheartening part is that beyond all of that there was one clear majority opinion on what mothers are better at doing than fathers:
Here’s a sampling:
Now, I don’t believe for a second that this is actually what most moms think. But for some reason, this is seriously what these moms believe, and what they feel like is a harmless and fun statement to share with the world: “Mothers are better than Dads at everything.”
Ladies, listen, I don’t know, maybe you do have a terrible husband. Or maybe you just don’t let him learn. Or maybe your kids’ father is simply way out of the picture and deserving of lots of scorn. I don’t know your story, but I get that you feel like dads are useless and/or unnecessary. Gotcha.
My concern is that if you are posting such a thing on Facebook, you can bet that your kids are getting the very same message about dads from you in your daily life too. The world certainly doesn’t need more little boys learning that they will always be a second-class parents. The world doesn’t need more little girls growing up with the message that they shouldn’t expect very much from the future father of their children.
And to the dads out there who have happily lived up to such low expectations, I simply say this: Aim higher. Prove them wrong.